Bonus Material for Great 1-1 and Feedbacks

Simple tools to make your 1-1's and Feedback work.

In the last post, I wrote that creating a common bond helps create a culture of respect and shared goals. It all starts with a curious conversation. In any convertion having a clear structure helps reduce anxiety for everyone in these conversations. Here are two templates I use to keep things focused, supportive, and effective.

My SBI Feedback Template

I use this when I need to talk about a specific event or behavior. It keeps the conversation objective and helps avoid making the other person feel attacked.

Phase 1: Preparation (Before the meeting)

• Situation: Where and when did this happen? (e.g., "In yesterday's code review...")
• Behavior: What exactly did I observe? (e.g., "...you left several comments that were quite blunt without suggesting a fix.")
• Impact: What was the result? (e.g., "...it made the junior developer feel discouraged and slowed down the merge.")

Phase 2: The Conversation

1. Set the Stage: "I’d like to give you some feedback on yesterday’s review so we can keep the team's momentum up. Is now a good time?"
2. Deliver the SBI: State the Situation, Behavior, and Impact clearly.
3. The "Painter" Pivot: "I know you value high-quality code. How can we frame these comments next time to be more constructive?"
4. Listen: Let them respond and explain their perspective.

My Growth-Focused 1-1 Agenda

I share this agenda with my team in a shared document so everyone knows what to expect. We usually spend 30 to 45 minutes on it.

• The Connection (5-10 mins): We start with "life stuff." How are you doing? Anything exciting outside of work? This helps build the sambādha (bond) I mentioned earlier.
• The Lead (15-20 mins): This is your time. What's on your mind? What wins did you have this week? What's been frustrating?
• The Growth Lab (10 mins): We look at the big picture. Are you getting closer to your career goals? What skills do you want to work on next?
• The Roadblock Clearer (5 mins): What's stopping you from doing your best work? For example, too many meetings, not enough documentation, or waiting on another team.
• Action Items (2 mins): We list one to three concrete things we both agree to do before our next meeting.

Pro-Tip for Consistency

Don't Batch Feedback: I've learned that saving up feedback for later doesn't work well in fast-paced environments. If I notice something, I try to mention it within 24 hours.

Check emotions: However, there are times when immediate feedback might not be ideal, especially if emotions are running high or if the situation is delicate. In such cases, it can be beneficial to wait until everyone is calmer to ensure a more productive and less confrontational discussion. Timing is crucial, and understanding when to pause can often be as valuable as the feedback itself.

Assume Positive Intent: Because these messages are shorter, they can sometimes feel blunt. I always start from a place of "we are on the same team" to ensure the sambādha (connection) stays intact.

Celebrate wins in public, give feedback in private.

I use public channels for quick shout-outs to boost morale, but I always give SBI feedback privately in a 1-1 or direct message.

Shared Goal: I keep these notes in a shared document accessible to only those directly involved. It's not about tracking anyone—it's about having a shared record of growth to look back on during reviews or promotions.

To sum it up, I've realized that feedback and 1-1s only truly work when we build real trust and make it safe for everyone to speak up. By using simple tools and staying flexible, we can turn boring check-ins into actual chances to grow. When we lead with respect and clear communication, we create a foundation where both the individual and the entire team can succeed together.